First Friend

To my dearest friend.

First Friend

We’re friends right?

Nuh-Uh!

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It was a cold winter’s day in the middle of July when Karen first met Touya.

There was a fine sheen of frost that coated everything; the grass, the benches, and the empty vandalised playground. It was almost magical in an odd tacky, clichéd sense, the way crystalline icicles lined the underside of metal and wood, and the way fog would caress poles and tree trunks and blanket everything in a thick blanket of smoky white condensation. The image it presented was reminiscent of a child’s ice palace; one with building flaws and an odd frame that would make most architects cringe.

The park was awful lonely that day. Karen’s tiny feet were tracing random patterns along the bark, and her chubby hands felt clammy, clasped around the ice cold chains of the swing.

‘A friend,’ she’d thought. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend?’

She then wondered when momma was getting back, because she was getting awful lonely.

It was strange what happened next, as if someone from the heavens had heard her. There was a rustle of clothing and the sounds of chains clinking together and then there was a girl sitting beside her who looked just as lonely as she was.

The blonde had greeted the raven haired girl with fervour because now that there were two of them, there was no longer a need to feel lonely. After all, it was hard to feel alone when you really weren’t.

That day, the girl gave her a name.

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We’re more than just friends stupid! We’re best friends.

A smile

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The second time she’d met Touya, she was crying.

Karen wasn’t particularly pleased with the circumstances under which they’d met because she was crying, and she didn’t want Touya to see.

She couldn’t recall exactly what she was crying about, but she did remember the wet gravel beneath her fingers that dug and cut into her flesh, the way her insides twisted and lurched in what would be call despair and the wet mud that coated her new plaid skirt and cotton sleeves.

She remembered a, cry, cry, let it all out. It’s okay, it’s okay, they’re gone, no one’s going to hurt you. I’m here, see? I’m here. She remembered hands tangled in the back of her hair and soothing motions. She remembered a raven haired girl –just a bit older than before- sprawled in the mud, fumbling with words, rubbing circular motions against her back and petting her hair.

That day, a girl with dark, dark eyes gave her soothing hands and words of consolation.

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Best friends, huh?

Forever and ever!

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It was winter again, though Karen wasn’t really sure if it was a July.

There was a steaming pot of vegetables and some kind of meat that she couldn’t pronounce properly in front of her and there was a glazed line of drool trailing down her chin.

Touya had made it but that didn’t matter because she was starving, and she was trying her best, not to make a running leap towards the food. The girl in question, as if reading her mind, gestured towards the pot and with a raised brow, asked why Karen wasn’t eating.

Later on, the blonde found herself asking for the raven haired girl’s hand in marriage.

Touya just smiled and gave her, her friendship instead.

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Pinky promise?

A pinky promise? Since when did you make those?

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It was a Tuesday. The day in itself wasn’t really important because nothing really happened on a Tuesday and many would probably be surprised if something did happen on a Tuesday.

Karen was completely, and utterly, mind-blowingly bored.

It wasn’t really surprising that Touya had instantly caught on. Before Karen was even offered a chance to utter a single ‘I’m booored’, the raven haired female had opened her mouth and any lingering traces of boredom were instantly erased only to be replaced by complete and utter mind-blowing confusion.

Hey Kar’, what’s friendship about?

It’s about caring for each other. Duh.

Caring? What does caring consist of?

Love of course.

What is love?

Karen had thought, and thought, and thought. Nothing really came to mind other than the typical clichéd romantic ideals that paperback bodice-rippers and romantic comedies had engraved into the back of her mind.

Love: being together, overcoming troubles together, forever. Cut scene then roll credits as the characters drive off into a sunset and into a future that presented no problems and a Disney fairytale ending of ‘happily ever after’.

The blonde knew her friend wouldn’t accept that as an answer, she’d call it a piece of bull then proceed to tear the concepts apart until they were gasping for breath and holding onto the last single shred of life they had left. So Karen thought and thought and thought.

That day, the older girl gave her something to think about.

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Since now. Promise me.

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“Hey, I think I have the answer,” Karen said, years later.

They’d just got their diplomas and were still dressed in their vermillion red robes. The sky above them was vast and for some reason or another, Karen felt kind of sad that there were no clouds.

“The answer to what?”

“To love. I know what love is.”

Upon the top of a hill, somewhere on the school’s oval, Touya was leaning against an old oak and Karen was lying on her back when everything came spilling out.

Karen talked about forever, and ‘happily ever afters’, she talked about what a bunch of bull it all was and about how undeniably true it was at the same time. She talked about understanding and variations, about how love was no better than the lover and about how love was indescribable in its entirety and how everything she said was probably a big fat chocolate-y lie because it was indescribable and she couldn’t have possibly described love without turning it into a big fat lie.

Touya just smiled and held up her pinky.

That day, she offered her a promise of forever.

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Pinky promise, pinky promise. Stab a needle through my eye. Cross my heart and hope to die. Leave me dying in my bed; leave me wishing I was dead. Pinky promise. Pinky promise…

FIN

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Author's Rant(not much of a rant but shall be considered a rant nonetheless!): Ah, yes, as you can see (well, not really as I haven't really posted much), I'm still experimenting a little bit more with my style here. The usual rebellion against literature of course, where I look quote marks square in the eye and tell them to sod off (why do I sound so British?).

Well, tell me what you think of this. And yes, I can handle the typical 'I think I'm going to start puking up rainbows and unicorns now' mantra, so fire away.... As long as there's something of use to me in your critique of course (I'm despairing over how brat-tish I sound here).

[If you're confused about the words in bold, when put together, it's a conversation between Karen and Touya.]